+. Dear Death, I've Been Playing With Fire.posted Sep 5th 2009, 10:11PM
Mood: Dreary
Music: Disturbia - The Cab
Dear Death,
Just hear me out. This was all my fault. Now you've brought me death, and it everything I wanted. It's the wrong side of fear that kept me out... It's the wrong inside that fills my mouth. It's left me without in this darkness. I've given my ground, but know this night will be mine.
Time is running out as you die in this bed, not making a sound. It has all come crashing down to the heel, and watch you breathe your last. So helpless to stop you from slipping away so fast.
Oh, God, are you listening now, as this cancer dances through her, and then takes a bow? It won't disappoint the crowd, whose word is a curse, as I hear them one by one. Please pull the string, and I come undone.
I know this; I felt the same. I'm sleeping by your side... You're worth this. I wouldn't trade a day. So many days I've been blind; I want to stop and rewind... kick off my shoes and dance with the ghost of you. Who else could tease me and leave me begging for the abuse? You're the only one I knew that could tame me, and make me who I am. But now, there's self-blaming and there's nothing left of all my plans.
Let's dance again. We'll turn up our sleeves. I know just where to begin. We could find ourselves before this happens...
Words of mine are trite and simple shame. Still, we find a place in everything. It's just to break the silence that has been crushing me. Half of me is dead, already gone, half is screaming everyone is wrong. Finally asking now, will you just hear me out?
This was all my fault.
Pardon me for saying so, but you look more pitiful than I had ever imagined, despite perfect fashion, and your photographs depict you so differently. I always thought you would be some sort of match for me. So let's decide who can survive, stomping feet and racing beats of hearts that don't ever slow. Then I'll write letters on white paper expressing my deep dissapointment. Dripping where I stand from my watery hands, hoping to get past the open bedroom door, where her clothes on the floor remind me of our conversation... the feeling of slight hesitation to turn out the light.
Fourteen days now since we started to complicate the situation. I'm not hiding, I'm just buying some time for us to find the back door. We will come out when it's safe for us. There's nothing left to say to excuse the way that I've behaved.
I still feel him gripping like a stain to this fabric, torn at every seam, then thrown away. One without regret, I will not forget.
Why should I take all the blame for my mistakes? You were there with every promise made to break. When did you become the one without regret? Kill me. Burn me down. I swear I won't forget.
I made matching icons for an myself... but I recently deleted my gallery and what not... But my computer wont run programs like photoshop. So Im a total sucker for your digital icon. = ) Your very welcome
cause I was doing commissions on 18x12in posters. And just because the wolf's expression was similar to somebody elses I was accused of being a theif. I mean I know Im not and all my friends supported me. But I just didnt want to be involved with the drama. But I'll be back. = ) Im taking airbrush in school So Im going to design some TShirts. = ) So Im not gone for good. Thank you
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